Wutt Family - Dorothy, Phil, Dick Photo/Mark Hoffman

Dorothy and Dick Wutt know all too well how tortuous it is to have a loved one in the grips of mental illness, how desperate the search can be for answers.

In 1981, as they drove their 21-year-old suicidal son, Phil, to the Waukesha County psychiatric hospital fearing for his life, he got out of the car intent on putting himself in front of a train. Fortunately, a police officer arrived and helped get him to what was then Northview Hospital.

"It took me five years to go over that railroad track in Waukesha without getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach," Dorothy Wutt said. "It was awful."

Though Dorothy, now retired, was a nurse at the time - Dick is a retired insurance claims adjuster - she said she didn't fully understand the long, hard journey that was ahead.

"We were in shock for a long time," she said. "We were in a grieving process. It took us a couple of years to deal with it."

Dorothy and Dick Wutt became advocates for the mentally ill 25 years ago after their son Phil (back) was hospitalized for schizophrenia.

Yet in dealing with their son's illness, the Wutts reached out to others in similar circumstances.

First, to learn.

Then, to teach and share what they'd learned.

Then, to advocate.

Dorothy Wutt had facilitated a grief and loss support group at the hospital in West Allis where she worked, so she felt comfortable turning to a support group for families of those with mental illness during their crisis. First it was with the Mental Health Association of Waukesha County, and then with the local chapter of the National Association of Mental Illness, or NAMI, as it is now called.

Soon she began to lead the group.

"Thank God you don't know what the future holds," she said, laughing about it now. Little did she know she would be in it for the long haul.

Twenty-five years later, the couple is still at it, month after month, year after year. Dorothy, 73, leads the monthly group discussions and arranges for public speakers while Dick, 76, offers behind-the-scenes support and set-up help.

The first thing on any family member's agenda, she said, is getting help for their loved one. They often bring with them a frustration that no one is listening, she said.

They also bring a sense of stigma, Dick added. People often are concerned and feeling that they will be blamed for the mental illness of a child or spouse.

The Wutts listen, and they surely don't blame.

Sue Walker (no relation), who began working in the mental health hospital in 1981 when Phil was an inpatient and who is now supervisor of community support programs for those with mental illness, said she's watched Dorothy Wutt's leadership of the group and her constancy from the start.

"She has this ability to connect because she's able to share her own experiences," Walker said. "She connects well - and it means a great deal to the families."

About 10 to 20 people show up regularly. Individuals are allowed to speak about their particular concerns of the day. Usually, a speaker is scheduled for an educational segment. Sometimes, old-timers return.

"We need success stories" from them, Dorothy said.

They have seen success with their own son, now 47. After the initial onset of his schizophrenia and hospitalization more than 25 years ago, he now lives on his own in Waukesha.

The Wutts, who have older twin sons and a younger daughter in addition to Phil, said "he considers his life good."

He handles his own finances, recently completed a peer support program, and enjoys friendships and finds support at community social recreation and job readiness centers, they said.

Earlier this month, the Wutts were deep into their annual holiday ritual of preparing roasters full of food for the NAMI Christmas party. Nearly 200 people - clients with mental illness and their families - attended. (I've seen the Wutts' dedication up close for several years now at the event, a cause close to the heart of First Mate. My husband is current president of the NAMI Board and co-cook of the dinner's vegetable casserole.)

Today's mammoth party had its start in the Wutts' Brookfield basement decades ago.

In those first years of their son's illness - he spent six months in the hospital and then six months in a group home - the Wutts organized a Christmas party for a couple dozen residents of group homes.

"We just got a bang out of it," Dorothy said. And so did the guests. There was food and games and a seasonal spirit.

The party soon outgrew their home and NAMI took over its planning, though the Wutts have been faithful volunteers ever since. Dick knows how to get Santa to show up and distribute donated gifts to the appreciative audience.

They're also steadfast participants - Dick mans the grill - at NAMI's summer picnic for clients and families.

"The two of them together have been a mainstay of NAMI," said John Quaal of the Village of Pewaukee, former board president who first got to know the Wutts when his own son became mentally ill. "Whenever there's something to be done, Dick and Dorothy have been there."

As Dorothy's decades-long leadership of the support group continued, Dick got involved elsewhere.

He served as a board member for NAMI and for the past 20 years has been sitting on the Waukesha County Health and Human Services Board, where he advocates not only mental health programs, but for services to other of our most fragile citizens, as well.

The Wutts have long been dedicated to social action through their church, Immaculate Heart of Mary in West Allis. For 30 years they've helped out monthly at the St. Ben's meal program that feeds the homeless and hungry in Milwaukee. Dorothy brings meatloaf.

Now, retired after 27 years as a hospital nurse and supervisor, Dorothy Wutt is a volunteer parish nurse who does wellness checks and offers some health care to church members. She also took her medical expertise to Liberia twice, in 2005 and 2006, part of a parish-to-parish visit of volunteers in which she worked in pharmacy services.

It's clear that the Wutts have never been one-shot volunteers in anything they do. Even in a cause not of their choosing - as when mental illness struck their family - the Wutts seem to jump in heart and soul to help countless others.

Call Laurel Walker at (262) 650-3183 or e-mail lwalker@journalsentnel.com